Is Good Old Fashioned Chivalry Dead?
A recent visit to my local shopping centre prompted this question inside my head, and is something that I have thought for a long time. Is there any place for chivalry these days, or is it lost in the archives of a time largely forgotten nowadays?
I don’t think it is fair to say it is lost in everyone, as you do find chivalry in a lot of people still. But it is much fewer than times gone by. Today, if you come across an act of chivalry, it’s almost as though it is unexpected. I for one get a little surprised if a door is held open for me, or if a driver lets me out of a junction etc. This is why I make a point of acknowledging this act, as I don’t want to succumb to the ignorance that the majority seems to posses towards acts of kindness these days.
I don’t want to sound like I am preaching, either, as I know that sometimes you just are not in the mood to be polite or happy. But I feel there is always room for a little “Thank you”, or just a nod of the head or a smile. All too often now – as I found on my day out at the shops – people just do not bother to even acknowledge you.
I was entering a shop, and I could see through the glass pane that a mother with a pram was coming out of the same door. I smiled and opened the door, holding it open to let the mother exit the shop, and was astonished to see her push her way out without even looking in my direction. There was no “Thank you”, except a sarcastic one that I voiced in her direction as she moved away. In the next shop, I approached the queue at the checkout to pay for my goods. As I got to the back of the line, so did a middle-aged woman. I held out a hand to gesture she could go before me, and it was met with a look of hatred, as she almost scorned at me. I ask you, “what on earth had I done wrong?” As other little episodes unfolded throughout the day, I began to question whether it was a bad day for everyone I encountered, or if there simply is no chivalry left in today’s society.
My family has always been one to put others first. It’s not a boast, just an acknowledgement. I sometimes wonder if we are outcasts, failing to conform to the rest of society, and whether we should follow suit just to be normal. I don’t understand why we have become this way. I see people of all ages pushing past the elderly to get through a space first, or to go through a doorway before being held up. The elderly person involved does not batter an eyelid, suggesting this is the norm, and that they have accepted their inferior status. This certainly angers me to see it happening, but I cannot do anything about it.
When I am lucky enough to witness an act of kindness, and to see the smile that accompanies such an act, I feel good, even if I have not been a part of it. If I am involved, and I myself receive a smile or a “Thank you”, then it makes me smile, and you feel good, if only for a moment. I understand that most people who have bothered to read down this far are shaking their heads in disbelief, thinking I am a do-gooder, for want of a better phrase, but that’s not the case. I just feel we could open our eyes a little more and to show a bit more common courtesy, if only just to produce a smile here or there.
For those of you who are still reading this, and agree with what I am trying to get across, I guess we are the minority, and I shan’t change my ways, will you?
Tagged with: chivalry • kind • kindness • my opinion • polite • politeness
Filed under: My Views
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Dan Stevens
I totally agree with you, and I, like yourself, will never change my chivalrous ways. Much has happened in society to encourage a ‘dog-eat-dog’, ‘snooze you lose’ attitude, that assumes that those who are polite, are weak and missing out.
But although society has changed, our genes have not. Whether people realise it or not, the polite and thoughtful – the respectful – are the powerful. Humans are hard-wired to trust those that are respectful of them. People may feel they are moving with the times when they elect to ignore grace and manners, but in the greater scheme of things, chivalry wins.
We live in a society where mediocrity and stupidity are rewarded. Reality TV shows are full of mediocrity, and people vote for it because they think it’s cool. More fool them. Respect will always trounce rudeness. Always has done, always will.
As for the middle aged woman that scorned you for your letting her go before you in the queue, that may be her feminist social conditioning that says: “Any man that is chivalrous toward you sees you as a weaker, incompetent being”. This is one of the many negative consequences of feminism. As usual, if I am met with such unfortunate stupidity, I simply ignore it and move on. Women like this will get no love from me. There are still plenty of women out there who see chivalry toward women as it should be seen. As ever, respect and manners always win.
Good article!
Thanks for your hearty comment bro, its good to know im not the only one who feels like this
As Scotty said Dan, a good article.
You are so right, good manners and courtesy seem to be the exception these days. Nowadays we cannot feel that we are the good old fashioned, courteous nation that we used to be. You should feel proud of yourself, like Scott and Vicky, that you do still hold these values in high regard. It’s a pity a few more people don’t think in the same way. And as such a high proportion of young people seem to exhibit this cold, selfish attitude you just know that they will pass these attitudes down to their children, and the whole downward spiral will continue. So sad, but I know you will always be kind and considerate, and as long as there are a few like you and Scott and Vicky, all is not totally lost yet.
I guess we get it from our parents, it’s not a bad thing to possess